


Put your mouth to better use

by bloodandcream



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel is Clueless, Crack, Dean is a jackass, F/M, and Meg is just sexually frustrated, so so so fucking crack, use of terrible slang terms for the word anus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-09-18
Packaged: 2018-02-17 20:54:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2322872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodandcream/pseuds/bloodandcream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meg liked Cas. She did. He was a badass, or used to be, and it just made her wet to think about how he could burn her out with a touch and never did. Oh he’d get rough sometimes, if she pushed him just right, but he could not take directions. He was clueless. Absolutely stick up his ass vanilla white bread missionary in the dark under the blankets fucking clueless. And as much as Meg loved corrupting Cas, sometimes having to spell everything out with clinical detail and precise instruction was boring.<br/>She didn’t even know you could fuck up something as basic as a 69.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Put your mouth to better use

Castiel was fidgeting in his chair sitting at the kitchen table when Dean walked in. A fidgety Cas was always a bad sign. But Dean really wanted to get a beer out of the fridge. Or something harder. Ever since they’d let Meg come back to the bunker because she was the only one that could keep Cas in line, things had been, well, weird wasn’t really strong enough and their lives had always been weird.

Cas turned those sad, sad big eyes on Dean after he’d gotten himself a drink. At least the guy had waited for him to get a little alcohol in his system. It must be quite the question.

“Dean, I’ve been having problems understanding Meg.”

“I’ve never understood Meg.”

“I mean…. some of the things that she asks for are, outside my experience.”

“We’re talking sex things here aren’t we Cas?”

When Cas just nodded, Dean rolled his eyes and sat down. Of course it was sex things. For whatever reason Cas seemed to think Dean was the sex guru he needed to learn how to please his demon lady. Dean really didn’t want anything to do with any of it, he did not want to be thinking about that, but after listening to a shouting match culminating in “Look where you’re sticking your dick” he would rather the two of them not have arguments about sex. So Dean could suck it up and teach Cas a few things. Then drink himself into a stupor or drive far far away.

“She uses terminology I am not familiar with and when I get confused she becomes frustrated.”

“All right what sort of things are we talking about here.”

“She said she wanted to try pegging? Is this related to carpentry.”

“No. Run away Cas, run far far away.”

“Oh. Is a chase part of pegging? Does it involve other exercises.”

Dean downed the rest of the beer he had before standing to find a bottle of whiskey.

“You know what. You just need to learn how to look this stuff up on the internet.”

“Oh?”

Dean remembered the last time he had tried to set Cas up with some porn for educational purposes. He ended up with an even more confused angel asking about C.B.T. and Dean had not even realized that he’d included porn like that.

“Yeah, let me just… get you Sammy’s lap top. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

Dean scuttled out of the kitchen leaving a more dumbfounded Cas at the table and found Sam’s laptop. It would be good payback for the salad he tried to make Dean eat.

After a few minutes he had Cas set up on urban dictionary, gave the angel a beer, and retreated back to his own bedroom.

-

Meg liked Cas. She did. He was a badass, or used to be, and it just made her wet to think about how he could burn her out with a touch and never did. Oh he’d get rough sometimes, if she pushed him just right, but he could not take directions. He was clueless. Absolutely stick up his ass vanilla white bread missionary in the dark under the blankets fucking clueless. And as much as Meg loved corrupting Cas, sometimes having to spell everything out with clinical detail and precise instruction was boring.

She didn’t even know you could fuck up something as basic as a 69.

She was kind of bored playing nice with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb, she was sexually frustrated, and she was going stir crazy being cooped up in the bunker. So when Cas went to wander off to find Dean for who knows what, she made her way back to their room for a little one on one time with her battery operated friends because they always understood her.

She was spread out on the bed when Cas came back. Of course.

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting?”

“Yeah, kind of. Why not go on and let me take care of this.”

“I could be of assistance.”

“Sometimes I just need a little quality alone time ok?”

“I …. ah, I’ve been researching some things.”

Well now that made Meg perk up a little bit. If he was actually trying to learn a few things – because fuck knows for some reason Meg just didn’t seem able to explain things the way he could understand – she was curious what he was trying to pick up.

Meg pushed up on one elbow and turned her vibrator off.

“Go on.”

“You’ve been wanting to… try new things?”

“Well they aren’t new for me.”

“Oh. Yes that’s true. Perhaps, I could….. stuff your prison purse?”

Oh no.

“I…. what?”

“Pluck your brown flower?”

Ok, Meg thinks she knows what he’s talking about.

“Pop your black cherry?”

“I swear to Satan Clarence…..”

“Lick your rusty bullet hole? … I think you’re supposed to lick it…… why is it rusty though?”

“Please stop talking.”

“I….. is this not a form of flirtation?”

“Just, shut up get over here and put your mouth to better use on my ass.”

“What part of your ass?”

“Fucking seriously, how do you not know what rimming is?”

“Is it related to sports?”

“No. I want you. To stick. Your tongue. Inside my anus.”

“Oh. That’s what I was trying to say.”

“Ok, that is still talking. Mouth shut, get your lips over here.”

Meg made sure to be very, very noisy because she had the sneaking suspicion that Dean Winchester had something to do with putting those words in Castiel’s mouth. She knew the bastard was around. And she knew just how loud she had to be to reach every corner of the bunker. Honestly, it wasn’t even that hard with all the dirty things Cas could do with his tongue. He may not always understand where she wanted him to put it, but once he caught on, he was like a dog with peanut butter.


End file.
